Awards for the May 16, 2004 Camp Columbia Reunion
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Biggest Mitzvah Award
To EACH OF YOU for convincing Yaakov that the Camp was actually a success.
Mint Condition Award
Lonny Benamy
Hasn't Changed a Bit It's Actually Scary Runner Up Award
Bobby Perlmutter (or was that Steve Allen playing/standing near the piano?)
"I Can't Believe It's a Jewish Event" Award
Out of 100 so-called Jews and after 1 hour and 40 minutes, only three had taken any food!
Proof It Can't be a Jewish Event Award
When Paul announced at 1:40 that you should take some food, even then nobody budged.
Alta Kaker Memory Award
Even though 98% of us couldn't immediately remember where we parked our car when we left the reunion (after all...we are all 50 to 80 years old), 62.7% of us remembered every friggen word between the "Sun Rising Slowly" and "Camp of Our Dreams"! Without looking at the songster!
"Up Yours" Award
The award committee originally was going to award this to the obvious choice, Lonny's yarmulka, but was upstaged by Yaakov's hiding place for gold coins used to save Jews during the Holocaust (more on Yaakov's experience can be found at www.phasetransfer.com/private/Krakow.htm) .
Funniest Story Award
Doni telling how, while breaking into the Chadar Ochel one night, Patsy made stiff pancakes.
Quickest One Liner Award
Patsy immediately shouting "I made 'em all stiff."
Second Story Award
Glen Schwartz was told he was a goy by another camper when Glen asked why he was looking at the ingredients label on candy before buying it at the General Store in Elizaville.
Best Secret Code Award
"Camper Mayim Tsuris, please report to the office" = the water inspector is on site
Percentage of people who cried at some point during the reunion
100
Percentage of people who cried during the singing of the Alma Mater
I don't know, my vision was rather blurry at the time
Most Valuable and Biggest Surprise Award
Everyone got a camp T-shirt. Who was responsible for that?!!? Paul, Doni, Lonny?
Biggest Ego Trip Award
Wearing a Camp Columbia Staff T-Shirt, even though the last time you were in camp, you were in Kinneret.
Best Comment on a Slide Award
"So this is what girls wear in an orthodox camp" (referring to the 4 girls in bikinis on stage)
Long Distance Award
Hal Gastwirt and Oded Lev
There is No Stupid Question Award
Oded's voice coming out of the ear piece of a microscopic cell phone into a microphone asking 100 people "How are You?"
Shortest Speech Award
Lonny
Is This Really Happening Award
Watching Ami play the accordion
Shoulda, Coulda, Woulda Award
Someone should have asked Ami to play "Winston Tastes Good Like a Cigarette Should"
Mistaken Identity Award
At least 5 people thought that Judy Kalikow was Shula until getting close enough to read the name tag
Could Have Been a Jewish Event Award
Question: Why didn't we sing Birkat Hamazon? Answer: We didn't eat "Cazayit" (a quantity more than an olive).
The Who Lived in Yaakov's and Gilda's Basement Award
Who didn't?
The Liability Insurance Award
Can you believe that a Jewish Camp had riflery and archery?
Tallest Camper Award
Ira Friedman (Michael Friedman a close second)
Camp Spirit Award
The entire table closest to the podium (mostly from girls campus), rocking shoulder to shoulder during singing
The Almost Needed a R.N. (Registered Nurse/Right Now) Award
Amazing that there were no broken ribs during many rather violent hugs near the door
The Near the Door Award
It was crowded and hot near the door and empty and cold near the podium due to the spiritual adhesive binding anyone as soon as he/she walked through the door
I Always Wondered
Is Helen Flatow related to Ira Flatow from the science program? Is Tully Dershowitz related to Alan Dershowitz?
The Unsolved Mystery Award
The Bli Yadayim policy was enforced with a ruler and a 12-inch (6 battery) flashlight. So how did Doni and Helene, Paul and Faye, Bobby and Linda and all the others get married? Did they ever do it in camp, or did they wait until getting married as Gilda instructed?
The We Got it on Tape But We Can't Tell Who Award
A prominent male staff person told Yaakov that he had his "first breast" experience in Camp.
The We Got it On Tape And We Can Tell Award
Peter Bartfeld gave a moving testimonial to Yaakov about the impact of Camp Columbia and was caught on tape. If you would like to tape a testimonial, please contact us.
Reunion Videographer Award
David Halpern. David will edit the tape and we'll have to figure out how to provide access.
The Did We Over-Romanticize Award
Lonny's Bunk 17 asked the question "do we remember the camp experience to be more than it actually was?" We concluded that it really was the way we remember it...it was that powerful! Kevin Kalikow, who asked and answered the question, is now a child psychologist and I intend to use his services to figure out myself as a child (is it too late?). Glen Schwartz noted that it was amazing that the program directors back then were able to cram in so many plays, boy-girl sings, Color War, sports, culture, etc. into 8 weeks. You, who created these programs, have left an indelible impact our on lives. Every camper remembers the part they played in every play and nearly every song they sang. If you have any doubts that we are not over-romanticizing, I think that someone wrote in the Memory Book suggesting that you close your eyes and think about the candles floating on the pool. Yes...it was real.
The Unbelievable Technology Award
What would you have said in 1968 if someone told you that in 2004 you would receive a 4 inch round piece of plastic with 535 Camp Columbia pictures on it and view the slides at home without a slide projector? What would you have said if someone told you in 1968 that the 2004 reunion would be organized by simultaneously sending the reunion announcement to 100 people in the United States and Israel through a telephone line? How would you have imagined trying to track down 100 people 40 years later?
The How Many Ways Can You Misspell Yaakov Award
Yacov, Yaacov, Yakov. Write it in Hebrew and you'll figure it out.
The How Many of You Visited the Camp Site after 1968 Award
Lori Seidman and one other person told of how they visited the camp site in the 1990's to try to recapture something/anything. Every time I drive up to NY State Thruway Albany, I look for the outline of the mountain pattern which was visible from the flagpole.
Reunion Heroes Award
Paul Jeser, Doni Schoenholt, Lonny Benamy
Extraordinary Hero Award
Paul Jeser
Gratitude Award
Everyone was emotional and grateful to all at camp who impacted their lives, Yaakov, Gilda, Paul, Doni, Lonny, Hal, Sonny, Schotzy, Dana, Ami, counselors, fellow campers, whoever invented Risk and everyone else not explicitly named here. However, I cannot begin to thank you for the powerful compelling mitzvah, the magnitude you probably cannot comprehend, which you have done for the Halpern family, Yaakov, Gilda, Mayer and David by showing Yaakov that it was worth it. Gilda always knew it with proof positive every time a word was uttered in Hebrew or a prayer was heard. The investors paid a heavy price. Yaakov and Gilda paid an indescribable heavy price. David and I didn't know about anything negative until about 10 years ago. You have no idea how happy you have made us by your heartfelt words to Yaakov and Gilda, in person and by E-mail. On behalf of the Halpern family, I want to thank you for this truly gargantuan mitzvah of support and purpose and love for our parents which we were happy to share with you in the 1960's and again yesterday, May 16, 2004. You have our deepest gratitude and my computer screen is getting blurry again.
I would be glad to add your "awards" to this webpage. Please e-mail them to me by clicking here.
Mayer Halpern
May 17, 2004
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